DCFC and the Military

Death Cab for Cutie is one of my all time favorite bands. They are one of the few groups out there with lyrics that are on par with high quality poetry. Combined with the music, it's quite the experience. Now not all their songs are poetic or anything, but the depth of their lyrics are something that's hard to come by these days. Two of my favorite examples of this are:

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/deathcabforcutie/whatsarahsaid.html

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/deathcabforcutie/soulmeetsbody.html

Additionally, they also have a knack for telling a story in their music, these lyrics are less like poetry, but serve a different purpose. They can tell a story and really convey the feelings felt by the author. These songs use a more simplistic style, and it's quite effective. To get the full effect you have to listen to the song, but for now the lyrics will serve as a teaser.

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/deathcabforcutie/titleandregistration.html

Ok enough about DCFC. So I originally planned on making this post about how boring my life is, but I steered away from that option mostly to avoid repetition. I also don't want to make this a journal. That's much to personal for the internet. Before I know it I'll have a 40-something year old man from Colorado making creepy comments about my personal life. Brilliant. I love the internet. Lately I've had trouble reading. Not my actually ability to read, mostly just my ability to sit down and read a book. It's quite frustrating. I managed to get through Of Mice and Men (like 100 pages) and the first 20 pages of Lord of the Flies before I lost interest. Oh and I read The Kite Runner. That was a good book, I recommend it to....people.

Most people that know me know that I plan on joining the military. More specifically, I want to become a member of the U.S. Army Special Forces, sometimes referred to as the "Green Berets" (though if you call one of them that, they will promptly tell you that they are not a hat). I first started seriously thinking about becoming a soldier when I was 14, and it's one of the few consistent goals I have maintained. Among those being:

-Be worthy of temple marriage (in case you don't know, it's a Mormon thing)
-Graduate from college (preferably BYU)
-Become a "Green Beret" (the specifics of this goal are subject to change, but not much)

Throughout the past 3 years, a lot of thought has been put into the military and the various implications of being a professional soldier. I am constantly researching and analyzing the technical aspects of joining the military, however much thought has also been put into the religious and ethical implications. If I indeed become a Green Beret, the chances of me not taking lives is minute. Looking at the scriptures, I have come to the conclusion that taking a life is only justified if it in the defence of one's home, country, religion, or family. I have many motivations for wanting to become a soldier, and honestly, patriotism is not really one of them. Neither is wanting to "kill people". So I must ask myself if serving my country in the military really is defending my home, country, religion and family. I believe we are subject to our respective governments, but is taking out some communist guerrillas in Brazil really defending my home and family? Or is it furthering the agenda of corrupt men? These are difficult questions for me to face, so maybe I should think of it differently, maybe the military is a way for me to gain the skills and traits necessary for me to defend my home should the need arise. It's also kind of annoying when I tell people I plan on joining the Army and they say totally ignorant things like "Why do you want to kill people?" or "Why do you want to do that? You'll just die". I usually don't say anything back, I just mentally mark them as complete idiots. A while back I was having a discussion with my brother regarding the morality of torture. He stood firm on the idea that some things should never be done, no matter what the circumstances. I argued all sorts of situations like "well what if one man has information that could save 10,000 lives, and torturing him would yield that information, how is that not justified?" However, after much thought and months later, I decided that if I was to enter into a profession in which it is likely I would find myself in morally questionable situations, I must commit to a set of standards that could never stray from. I believe that if I promise myself and the Lord never to commit actions such as torture, than the Lord will ensure I am never forced to compromise that standard. In closing I'd like to share a few quotes,

“Patriots always talk of dying for their country and never of killing for their country.” ~ Bertrand Russell

“Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons.” ~ Bertrand Russell

"The problem in defense is how far you can go without destroying from within what you are trying to defend from without." ~Dwight D. Eisenhower

"They wrote in the old days that it is sweet and fitting to die for one's country. But in modern war there is nothing sweet nor fitting in your dying. You will die like a dog for no good reason." ~Ernest Hemingway

Family? Oh, and Love and Futility

I recently returned from a family vacation to Montana and Utah. My father's family lives in a small town in Montana, and to put it neatly, it's a totally different world. As I attended the commemoration of my grandparents 60th wedding anniversary, I thought about the nature of family. Were these people around me my family? Technically...yes, they are my blood relatives. However, when I re-examined the definition of family, I came to a different conclusion. If a family member is someone you love, care about, and would personally sacrifice for, then nearly none of these people were my family. Shoving aside the notion that I was being hard hearted or insensitive, I decided to be honest with myself. I didn't care about these people. I cared a bit sure, but I cared much less about the well-being of my so called extended "family" than I did of friends at school. And honestly, they probably feel the same way. Blood bonds people together naturally, but if you talk to the person once every two years, the whole family relationship thing usually just doesn't click. So that got me thinking about who is really family? For me, my family is my immediate family, my sibling's spouses, and their children, as well as a few of my friends.

In church, I grew up being told that I should love everyone, like Jesus does. I never really understood how that was possible, or at least feasible. That is, until I tried. I realized that society's definition of love is both deceptive and shallow. I also realized that if love was defined as the willingness to sacrifice for another, then I did indeed love a lot of people. I am still working on the whole "love your enemy" thing and I'm definately still working on the whole concept in general. It's amazing though to see how it changes your perspective about everyone. Try it.

And finally, I was thinking about how much of what we do is totally useless. Either useless in a very direct literal way. Like being on Facebook when I could be learning and reading something, or in a more abstract long term way. Like why am I doing what I am doing with my life? What should you be doing in your life? Well, the answer is here in this post.